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You can't be arrogant about what you let teach you.

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Joined on 4/17/03

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stafffighter's News

Posted by stafffighter - July 22nd, 2015

Last night my local library threw a "comic con fan fast" in which geekery of all sorts was celebrated to the degree of a small New England town at it's peak. As I am a Hawaiian shirt wearing party animal, I decided to go. Except I did not wear a hawaiian to this party because I brought my teenage neice and did not wish to embarass her. 

There were many small games set up around themes such as a sack throw into the deathstars port and dancing baby groot hot potato but the star even was live action Pac-man. A grid was taped off for the entirtuy of the middle sized room. A player assuming the role of Pac was allowed to run while collecting pellets, and the other volenteers as ghosts could merely walk. I took on the role of Pinky as to spare any of the little boys from having to choose it. My neice was pac. When my time came I caught her. I'm a badass pink ghost. Unfortunatly my neice became addicted to this game, playing it at least 4 times. When it was made clear I was the only grownup joining in I decided to sit it out, meaning someone had to watch her purse. That was my role through the evening. Whenever a game required the use of her hands or she had to sign the raffle tickets given as prizes Unkie was on purse duty. Hi, I'm Unkie. I have been for over 20 years. It's a brand name. I'm sticking to it.

My personal staring events were the trivia competitions. For doctor who I got tickets for knowing both the third Doctors fighting style and, oddly enough, that Back to the Future came out in 1985.I faired less well at the pin the bow tie on the Doctor event, in which I was spun around and charged at a flimsy tripod. The results were hilarious. Fortunatly the nice man dressed in a Jedi robe at the next table said it happened a bunch of times. Jedis are cool.  The star wars game was picking ten random star wars figures out of a box and sticking them to whatever planet they were associated with. As the man running it was a true nerd he accepted my answer that I'd run out of room on the deathstar but the Emperor did get started on Coresant.

Also there was a sketch artist availaible. As I stood pateintly in line I watched as stacks of bat and spider men grew towards the roof, which leaked on me. Should have told someone about that. Or purposfully slipped on the wet spot and sued someone, but I digress. I wanted a Crow T Robot, but it was clear that the people were sticking very strictly to comic book bounds and frankly, it was a point at the evening I could see him tiring, so I went with the roughly human shaped Morpheous. This led to a moment of small glory. As to give him time to work they had another convention worker taking down requests. When I gave mine he asked "from sandman?" This man knows his stuff. I answered in the affermitive. He wrote down sandman and joked that he was going to tell him to draw the golden age character Sandman. To this I shot back "Well that's ok because Wesley Dodds was a portion of his essence during his captivity." Had to let the man know he wasn't dealing with a rookie. If the green lantern shirt and ring and various pins hadn't clued him in to that.

What pins you ask? One corner of the room was apparently the girl section. There was a table for Frozen, which despite the many little girls dressed as Ilsa was not too busy. There was a my little pony table, and also a table for pins. There was a wide selection of pop culture new and old. My neice went with a classic Robin because she likes the boys in short shorts. I joke about this often and at length. I'm that kind of uncle.The pins were a buck each so I splurged a little, getting both of us two and each making one of our own. They had these cool little press things you could turn your own drawings into buttons with. I can't draw so I made up my own hero "cap'n awesome face." This is a timed and published media so if anyone steals this idea I will find you.The pre-made buttons I chose ended up going on a lost heroes theme.  One is on Harold Ramos and the other is Boston native son Leonard Nemoy being embraced by the also awesome George Takei, picture at the bottom.

At the end of the evening those pins and the essential spider-man 2 collection (I got to the give away table late) were all I went home with but the real gift is the good time, which was had by all. I got to hang out with like minded people and cringe when children picked up the power pellet the second a ghost was unleashed. Kids have no gaming instincts any more. Also there was pizza. Here's that picture. Have a nice evening.


P.S Also the newgrounds typing window thingy negated my spell checker so you get to see how dumb I really am




Posted by stafffighter - September 11th, 2014

   Today is going to be overloaded with politicking and philosophizing in attempts to capture some form of inherent depth. I did so myself years ago for a college compendium and, while it was generally well received, I won’t be posting it here. This is not because I don’t stand by the positions taken, largely I do, but because it’s been long enough that I can recognize my own words for the “seen it all” 21 year old who wrote them. 
   Still, it’s been over a year since I made a news post, so why not? Fortunately one recent night my mind wouldn’t let my body go to sleep until I’d written down everything in it. What sparked this, I don’t remember. It was probably one of a hundred easy political arguments on the boards. This is going to be more a loose collection than any grand attempt because frankly I don’t feel in a place to say anything grand about this.
   I think it’s the length of time since that prompted me to write this. It’s been 13 years, the age you’re supposed to be to get a Newgrounds account. More so, it’s been long enough for a generation of youth to come and pass. There are people up and running and sometimes coherent who were little. I compare this to people my age and the Challenger explosion. You’re aware this happened in your lifetime. You may have some vague memory of seeing it on tv, or of seeing Punky Brewster see it on tv http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0680568/ but there’s not a visceral connection to it. It’s a thing that happened in the world. Not to brag, but I was disconnected before it was cool.
   The following recollection is going to be purposefully terse. I was sitting in the school cafeteria watching a dvd of Friends on my laptop. Yes, laptops could run dvds that far back and I liked the show so shut up. I was tucked in a corner near the power outlet and when I peaked out of my cave the room was full of people watching the tv. That was three sentences. I claim no experience.
   What happened after is a matter of record. Everything from questionable choices by leaders, wars we’re still in and those “What if America wasn’t America?” ads that stopped running around the time the Patriot Act passed. http://www.adforum.com/creative-work/ad/player/34445792 I used to have a conspiracy theory that in some 1984 turn of events this very mention of sedition was removed. Later I calmed down and thought that the run time for the campaign had passed. The real answer I realize now is horrible and mundane enough for both. They lost.
   That’s the part where I get angry. It all comes down to anger. We’ll get to that. I’ll remember that because we remember anger. Memory and anger are why I get angry now. I get angry because in today’s world with demands on government transparency, foreign intervention and the rights to privacy, people are only angry now. Yes, times change and yes, hindsight is 20/20. What that doesn’t change is that for what happened then people are angry now.
   Changing times are why I was so hopeful when 24 came back. Jack Bauer was a hero of the shock and awe era who would extract answers any way he had to because ultimately he was on the right side. Throwing him into an anti-drone story with the supporting cast of wikileaks could have been really clever. They could have showed how his ways were past or how little the difference the new coat of paint made. It would have helped if they didn’t go completely Chloe with the dragon tattoo. Ultimately I didn’t watch it through, but I can’t be mad at anything with Stephen Fry in it. Was it good?
   So we’ve covered anger. That was easy because, like I said, we remember anger. Even in moments where we aren’t proud of what we did we remember being angry and learning from it. Something we forget is the path to anger. Not to give the prequels too much credit but there’s one thing Yoda got right. Anger embeds itself and evolves into hate and from there, suffering. But what is it that leads to anger? It’s fear. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFnFr-DOPf8
   Fear isn’t a reaction. Fear is vulnerability. So it’s easy for us to gloss over in ourselves and as a collected mass. Something that happens to the countries on the news happened to us and could happen again. We were afraid. We were so afraid of the world and ourselves that we couldn’t stomach reminders of things like airplanes, New York, or the day after Monday. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001_Clear_Channel_memorandum The music stands out to me because I was 20 at the time and music meant a lot to me. This was years before Katy Perry shocked the world by showing us we were still shocked by experimental lesbianism and cured me of ever needing to hear a new song again. 
   There was a block of music videos MTV kept looping for a few days after. I’m not going to make the easy joke, but you go ahead. It was an understandable thing to do. They were a New York based network after all. Among the songs were The Clash with “Rock the Casbah” (not a literal call to rock Casbahs) and Bob Marley’s “One Love.” Did you even know there was a music video of One Love? I didn’t until hearing it about 30 times over the course of a week. You learn something every day, even from oversimplified  pleas to feel alright. There’s also the part about giving praise to the Lord that people don’t seem to remember. Keep it in church, you long dead counter culture icon.
   Before closing this overall I want to say something personal. I don’t pretend to be in the heart and mind of anyone but myself but there’s one thing I have to say before this calling out of rage and entropy ends. What I have to say is, I get it. I got it a year ago when Boston was hit. The attack on Boston wasn’t as orchestrated and didn’t cost a fraction of the innocent lives lost in New York, but I get it. I live in Massachusetts. I’ve been to Boston more times than I can count. I have childhood memories in Boston. I’ve made mistakes I’ll question for the rest of my life in Boston. I’ve fallen in and made love in Boston. So when those bombs went off, when someone hurt MY city, I got it. Any animal I’ve called people I’m just as capable of being. 
   Is there a point to all this? Is there more truth in the meditations of David Letterman after the attacks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBLgp1qTCTg or the call to recovery from the Onion? http://www.theonion.com/articles/a-shattered-nation-longs-to-care-about-stupid-bull,216/  I don’t know. There’s a lot out there but don’t let yourself be fooled. When you’re presented with a well spoken, panoramic surface view it’s easy to mistake the overload for meaning. Here’s a picture of my dog in her Halloween costume.


Posted by stafffighter - July 10th, 2013

Now I had the same excitment any man would have when my yankee candle catalog came in the mail today. But that was only a sample of the joy that would come when I found this

There are way too many jokes you could make about this. So here they are.

1. Do you think it's hard to hold this candle in the cold November rain?

2. I wonder if it smells like the inside of Slashes hat

3. Even in the darkness you still can find a way, because you have a candle.

4. Perfect for when you need some time on your own. Because don't you know you need some time all alone.

5. Made with the scent of rose and other elements it needs to not make it overwhelming and just unpleasant.

6. Could this candle last forever?

I'm sure there are more jokes I'm missing here. Here's your shot at making me look like a bad music snob.

November Rain: The candle

Posted by stafffighter - February 27th, 2013

These are a thing now. At first glance it may appear that I've simply taken the lucky sides from two double stuffed and put them together. But no, they come out of the box this way. Not only have that increased the cream but they've included subtle commentary on the fat American. This is a work of art, that I ate like a second after snapping this shot.

Mega stffed Oreos

Posted by stafffighter - September 11th, 2012

Normally I hold a rightful hatred of people who dress their pets up, but halloween is coming and how could you not love this?

http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/gear/pets/raptor-do g-costume.asp

Make your tiny dog look as vicous as they think they are. What's that you say, mr. scientist? They had feathers? Up whatever it is you don't like things being up I say to you sir. These are raptors as discovered in 1993 by Jeff Goldblum. This is what true raptors will always be to me. Except for that one guy who got killed by a gymnist in the sequel. That guy doesn't count.
I am tired of science ruining my dinosaurs is what I'm saying. that being said if you could add peices from build a bear, like a construction workers hat, or maybe a chainsaw if they have lumberjack costumes, then the manliness will be restored. Just a hardcore dude and his tiny, armed and armored raptor. Coming this Halloween, in 3D.
Have to get back to my 10 page report on Chuck Norris now.

Posted by stafffighter - June 12th, 2012

I'm 31 now. I wear glasses without the self consciousness of a whipper snapper. My back hurts. I started hating todays music the day Katy Perry got popular.
The biggest advantage of age thusfar has been to see Family Guy fans become the mainstream that the youth of today must rebel against to establish identity. A generation is coming up raised to beleive that the only humor is in tearing down the icons of the past and that you are the only icon of today. Time comes for us all Macfarlane! I wear my Homer Simpson slippers in the middle of the day and I laugh at you.
Who the hell are you people?

Posted by stafffighter - February 9th, 2012

I can say as a completly modern gamer, one who played l.a noire and missed being able to pop suspects in the legs to make the chase easier, who looks forward to my third generation of sims getting phycic powers and who has never played a non human in skyrim because the general forum has instilled hatred of furries, this is the most addictive game I've ever played.
Long story short, old school fallout with steampunk and magic. There are guns, but they kind of suck. The punisher fan within me grieves this. However I have a spell that lets me taunt the dead. That beats a busted kneecap any day.
I was lent this game buy a severly awesome person who insisted I see how much of todays games are cripped from this. Lots of skyrim, notible sections of warcraft, and if I could ever level up a gun guy probably the ability to do speed damage through a critical hit to the knee.
If someone copied the sheep you can have sex with I do not want to know.

Posted by stafffighter - December 12th, 2011

You may or may not have heard of this song. I've heard it a few times but it never occured to me until it was pointed out by Robert Brockway of cracked, that it's a generic indie song that's NOT supposed to mean the one thing it could mean.
Maybe it's because I came from an age where both school shootings and pumped up kicks were in the current. I took the part about the shoes to mean those shoes you pumped, which were very popular in the day. Further I took that to mean the person they'd be advised to run from disliked the trend following nature they represented. You see, it never even occured to me that the lyrics could be anything but literal.
That doesn't have to mean they're glorifying the idea, which is a completely reasonable thing for the band to distance themselves from. I thought what with the soft and distorted nature of the music they could have been speaking from the dream state of a shell shocked survivor, or just telling a story like in the pearl jam song, Jeremy.
This is something the young and hip seem to have forgotten. Speaking literally doesn't only mean "Here I am, as my self, condoning every word I say." That's just what you hear when your father's talking, probably set to dubstep.
All literal has to mean is that they are literally telling the story the words they're using tell. Yet they claim to not be doing this at all. This band is made of grown-ups. These are things that have happened within their lifetime. And what with the college shootings the last few years, the columbine anniversary and the media attention for bullying, it's not exactly outside the public conciousness.
Like I said at the start, I was in that age group while these things were happening. Fortunately nothing like that ever happened around here. Still, I can only imagine that to people who did experience these making a song like this is just as tasteful as putting a pithy bassline behind "gonna go to heaven cause today is...." Not even going to finish that line.
Blah blah, kids today, what the fuck is dubstep? ? My back hurts.

Posted by stafffighter - November 22nd, 2011

FIrst off, yay Thanksgiving. Where we celibrate the ability to eat by using it. It's the holiday with by far the least amount of irony to my knowledge.
Yesterday I was on the phone with my sister making plans and she put my niece on. She's tiny and a genius, just setting that up. She told me that for school they're reading the classic. The Outsiders. This brought on the probably not too unique shocks of 1. They still read that? and 2 You're old enough to read that? This is the same girl who gets mad when I make fun of how big time rush dances. She likes the tall one.

Posted by stafffighter - October 29th, 2011

Last night we got out first snow of the year. It was lovely, snowball quality but it didn't stick around. At first it seemed odd that we were getting snow this early but then today it happened. Christmas commercials! My theory is that the advertisers used their vast satielite networks to affect the weather, making it snow early so their Christmas ads would not seem out of place. And also to annoy Al Gore.

Your thoughts?